Lazy Parenting


I hang out with a really cool group of mamas. Online, of course, like I have time, energy, and the wherewithal to consistently hang out with anyone in real life. We get together during our Velcro Babies (they taught me that term) naps, from our various countries and time zones and pieces of furniture. We talk about our challenges and throw tantrums and encourage each other, we share advice and ideas and brainstorm. It’s great.

Thing is, some of these moms make me look at my own parenting style and think, “man, I’m lazy!” They’re always teaching their babies stuff about sleep and sensory bins and the world at large. (Not training, we don’t train, training is for dogs.) It’s admirable, really. Some women are working on teaching their kids how to get through a sleep cycle without nursing, some are teaching how to sleep in their own space. Some moms are working hard to achieve important family goals (admittedly, most goals for most of us revolve around sleep).

Me? Although Mabel is nearly 10 months old, I’m still in the “oh thank God she’s asleep” category. I’m not trying to teach much of anything. You want to sleep in my bed? Fine, just sleep. You want to nurse all night long? Fine, just go to sleep. You want me to lay in bed with you while you nap? Well, you get the idea.

I call it lazy parenting, but I’m pretty okay with it. Sometimes I get all inspired by my awesome Internet friends and their cool success stories and think, “yeah! I’m gonna try something new!”, and then I’m up until 1:00 a.m. wondering what in the hell I was thinking. (That may or may not have happened last night. Hint: it did.) Truth is, Mabel wants to learn the things that are important to her – in the order and timeframe she wants to learn them in. And, honestly, I’m too lazy to demand otherwise.

So we’re making slow progress. (I may or may not be typing this on my iPhone while she naps. Hint: I am.) But it is progress. She no longer nurses all night long. I didn’t tell her to stop, she just did. She rolls away from me now to find her own space to sleep in. She doesn’t wake up at every noise. She doesn’t need the comfort of nursing between every sleep cycle. She sleeps longer and deeper and better, all by herself. Why would I want to mess with that?

in fact, she might not even need me to stay here for her nap. I’m not going to push it though. I mean, thank God, she’s sleeping, right? Besides, it’s dark and cool and comfy in here and there’s a machine that sounds like the ocean. Lazy parenting.

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